Tuesday, October 26, 2010

3 Steps For Managing Anger

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)


Life sets you on the wrong side of injustice (probably more than you’d like), but you should never allow another person’s issue or mood to affect your own.

Change Your Focus: Time spent wondering what you did to deserve their negative reaction is time spent neglecting yourself. See life as a play, and all the people, good and bad, who step on the stage of YOUR life are actors in YOUR story.  When you focus on the reaction instead of the trigger, you are more in touch with the emotions welling inside you. Don’t be a puppet, start singing, dancing, and enjoying a life that’s fueled by your own engine. Empower yourself with the understanding that your gas should never be the approval, love or acceptance of other people. You are your own sun. Always.



1. Face.  Face your feelings. Don’t focus on who made you feel the way you’re feeling, but be aware of your emotions (especially if you expect to redirect them).If your boat was flooding with water, you’d care about plugging the leak, not who made the hole. Own your feelings. No matter who may have helped you into a negative state, the only one who can change it is you.
2. Embrace. Embrace your feelings by internally thanking the other person or situation for triggering your emotions. Sound crazy? At their core, most people have a fear of not being good enough, or that they aren’t truly loved. But in gratitude there can be no fear. See the other person as your child, or as your child self. Experience what they are feeling. Instead of focusing on what they did to trigger you, understand how bad they must feel inside to be acting out. It’s really not about you, it’s about them and their internal pain. Once you thank them for helping you surface deep-rooted feelings, you can diffuse their power by accepting them as a part of you.
3. Erase. Once you’ve faced and embraced your feelings (and thanked the person who brought them to you), you can lay the rest down. There’s really nothing else to do. Reaction will only bring more negative energy to the situation. Turning a blind eye is telling yourself you aren’t worthy of more. But facing and embracing can eliminate the worst without any effort from you.

Keeping the focus on you means loving yourself. No one is perfect, and most people do their best with what they have. Love yourself for every thing you do right and every thing you do wrong…because that’s what makes you, YOU.

49 comments:

  1. wise tips. awesome blog, you got a new follower.

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  2. lol sometimes i really cud use these tips. will remember

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  3. I'll try to keep these tips in mind when I get really angry lol!

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  4. Impressive blog post. I can't say that I have had issues controlling anger, but I could definitely relay this information my friend's way.

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  5. I don't get angry that often but I'll keep these in mind.

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  6. Why you so mad though?

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  7. I also like breaking things. That helps.

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  8. I like these tips. Keep 'em coming

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  9. What an amazing post!

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  10. What an amazing post!

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  11. words i needed to hear, siddhartha was a wise dude

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  12. I actually read that holding back anger isn't such a bad thing. I can't remember the details of it, though, but I'm sure it's out there.

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  13. when im angry i break things :(

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  14. good tips, thank you! :D

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  15. Nice tips, may come in handy sometime!

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  16. Yep letting go is good

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  17. thanks, I needed these

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  18. could be usefull at this time xD nice post

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  19. I need to give these to my boss :)

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  20. ill give it try :) nice blog ;D

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  21. Emailing and printing a few copies of this for a few people in my life lol.

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  22. This is good stuff for me... Since I have anger issues and all...

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  23. Yeah this is how My girlfriend and I deal with problems in our relationship and it works great if both people follow it loyally. :D

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  24. being angry can become a habit like anything else

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  25. I'm not a very angry person, but these tips are pretty good.

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  26. so true.. thanks for the tips ^^

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  27. whoa, that's not bad advice, seriously/. Thanks a ton. Follow'd.

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  28. some great tips!

    check out my blog sometime :D

    http://kashkrap.blogspot.com/

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  29. yeah, my ex-gf used to get mad at me because my moods would change so quickly. Most often, it would be me getting mad at her, then 1 minute later I was fine. I tried to just blow it off but she doesn't like the swings.

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  30. damn she looks crazy mad

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  31. Sometimes walking away is the best choice you can make.

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  32. cool, do you have anymore tips?

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  33. This post was really helpful. I've been told I have a short fuse at times.

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  34. Great Blog Dude

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  35. i have a terrible temper...

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  36. Rage seems to be quite funny tho 8D

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  37. Ill keep these tips in mind, Thanks!

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  38. Very smart. Hard to remember in the moment, but great tips.

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  39. there are some good points here

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  40. you must face your fears

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