Tuesday, November 02, 2010

7 Ways to Fight Fair with Your Partner in Relationship

"Just as war is freedom's cost, disagreement is freedom's privilege.”  - Bill Clinton (American 42nd US President)


If you are going through a disagreement with your partner, you don’t have to worry because you are not alone. Even the most compatible couples can find themselves in an argument with one another from time to time. Some disagreements may stem from small misunderstandings while others might be of more serious and complicated matters. Whatever the reasons there may be, the most essential relationship advice is to make sure that both parties involved deal with the problem fairly. Here are some steps you can follow so  you can have a fair fight with your partner:
1.Acknowledge your negative emotions. The first thing that both you and your partner should do is acknowledge whatever negative emotions you are harboring against the other, but don’t say anything just yet. If you are angry at your partner for something he or she has done, then be honest with yourself. Remember that it is alright to feel angry or hurt. Don’t pretend you are okay when you are not because this will only complicate things later on.
2.Allow each other to cool down and think of what to say. When both of you have acknowledged your anger and dissatisfaction, it is normal to feel the need to verbally vent out your frustration and start pointing out faults. However, always hold your tongue and make it a point to be tactful. But, this can be rather tricky, especially in such an emotional situation. If you find it difficult to express your thoughts constructively, then pause for a while and allow each other to cool down and think of what to say.
3.Express your grievances constructively. It is important that you are able to relay your thoughts and grievances. Be honest with your partner and tell him or her what you really want to say, but in a tactful and constructive way. Expressing yourself constructively means avoiding hurting or sarcastic comments that will only aggravate the situation. Do not bring up past mistakes or issues that are not related to the current problem. Remember that the fight is meant to be a medium for you to resolve your problems and not a way to get even or hurt your partner.
4.Take turns listening. Always keep in mind that fighting fairly means allowing each other equal opportunities to express yourselves. Before you speak, ask your partner to listen first and argue his or her side later. Do the same when it is your partner’s turn. Listen carefully to what he or she has to say and do not interrupt.
5.Allow the moment and issues to sink in
After you have explained your grievances, allow your partner and yourself a moment of silence and let the issues sink in. This will allow both parties to focus on the problem at hand and, at the same time, regain control over emotions. This interval can last a few minutes or even hours, depending on how ready you are to move on to the next step.
6.Apologize and come up with a solution. It does not matter who started the fight, the important thing is that both of you acknowledge your mistakes and apologize sincerely to one another. Being apologetic will allow both of you to mutually solve the conflict.
7.Learn from the problem but leave it in the past. Reconciliation should not end in an apology. Both you and your partner should learn from what happened and make it a point to leave it in the past. Do not dig up the problem after it has been resolved.

Fighting is a healthy part of every relationship. It helps both parties improve the relationship and grow as individuals.

39 comments:

  1. good post, good info.

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  2. When you see it written, it looks easy, but in the heat of the moment, one normally forgetss all these rules. Interesting read anyway.

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  3. interesting blog

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  4. have wild makeup sex afterwards :)

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  5. This is going to help one day.

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  6. thanks for the tips, is very useful!!

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  7. Cool post! Supportin' ;)

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  8. This is helpful! I have difficulty resolving relational conflict...

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  9. Good tips. But I don't have a partner to fight with, fortunately :D

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  10. Great post and very helpful! Thanks for posting! ^^

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  11. Nice read, and most of those things are true as well!

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  12. This is an excellent guide to having a healthy relationship!

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  13. I agree with you man.

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  14. This can be hard if you are angry or irritated.

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  15. tell her to stay in the kitchen?

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  16. I'll bookmark this for future use

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  17. This should be given to every new couple

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  18. I can relate to these points

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  19. interesting and... well, only interesting xD

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  20. Great Info! Great Post! Wish I could find a woman who acknowledge this guide to disagreement!

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  21. I wish getting along with women was that easy. lol. Good advice though.

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  22. really good post ^^

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  23. communication is what determines a successful relationship/marriage

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  24. Man, this is always a tricky thing. I have found that if you drop the emotion too quickly, it only angers her more because then she thinks you were insincere earlier and it all goes downhill from there >.<

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  25. thanks, helps to know im not alone

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  26. Fight FAIR? WHY? I'm a guy. I want to finally WIN an argument! :P

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  27. im single, but i have a good relationship with beer and many of these points are applicable

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  28. Good stuff, I'll use it next time me and my gf have a fight.

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  29. Consider me a your new follower!

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  30. I'll apply this to my life

    Thanks

    Nice post.

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  31. Fighting never ends good. Best just agree and move on to an extent.

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  32. good advice, that's basically how me and my GF already were doing things.

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