A drunk sat next to a priest on a bus. The priest couldn't believe how smelly and dirty this guy was. The drunk took out a newspaper and began reading it, when he turned to the priest and asked, "Hey there, Padre. Hic! Can you tell me what causes arthritis?"
The outraged priest answered, "Sir, it's caused by loose living, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Oh, man!" the drunk muttered.
The priest then apologized and said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be that way. Tell me, how long have you had arthritis?"
"Oh I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."