Date: 02-05-2001 07:10
I wonder if the pain ever goes away. I wonder if the hate fades away along with the eternal unhappiness and if one day I will find complete happiness. Every time things are starting to get better, or when the abuse and all the conflicts surrounding it stay out of my mind for a while, something triggers again: a word, a comment, a look, a thought, a movie ... It seems like life plays an awful game on me! It seems like I am to carry this burden for the rest of my life. It seems like happiness is not something that is ment for me. I've decided to start ignoring myself again, my feelings, the pain, the nightmares, the horrifying thoughts ... I am going to run away from it all again, because the pain is too much. Is there a correct answer? Is there anything at all that will make the pain go away? My therapist believes in me, in the healing. At times, I do too! But it's when I fall back again that I realize that life just wasn't meant to be for me!
Taken from : http://www.shpm.com/phorum/read.php3?num=92&id=10&loc=0&thread=10