What New Challenge Are You Going to Take This Year?

If you want to grow, you need to expand your personal capacity.
Expanding your personal capacity is essential for your personal growth. It will take you the next level in life. It will make you a better person. For that, what you need to do is taking a new challenge. You should move out of your comfort zone and do something that stretches your skills and abilities. It's inconvenient, but that's the way to grow.
So here is my question to you:
What new challenge are you going to take this year?
We still have eleven months in 2013 which is enough to work on a new challenge. Don't waste them by just doing what you always do. Do something that will take you to the next level in life.
To help you choose a new challenge to take, here are a few ideas:

• Take an online course
  Is there a subject you are fascinated about and want to study if you had time? Well, this year might be the time for you. There are a lot of courses available on iTunes U that you can choose from, not to mention other sources like YouTube. There is even a new breed of interactive courses that will give you assignments and give you feedback (here are some examples). With so many options available, I'm sure you can find something on the subject you are interested in.
• Start a side business
  Perhaps you already have an idea for a side business. It could come from your hobby or from a specific need that you come across. Why don't you make it a reality this year?  Having a side business is a good way to expand your capacity because it will teach you a lot in the process. Plus, it could give you an extra cushion in this uncertain economic times.
• Start a blog
  Today everyone can express his or her thoughts through a blog. You are no longer limited to just being a consumer of information. If you have a subject you are passionate about, it's a good idea to start a blog on it. You will learn a lot more by writing about it, plus you will meet interesting people along the way.

One word of caution: don't expect instant success if you decided to build something. It takes time to build something, so don't get discouraged if your blog didn't attract many readers or your business didn't give you enough revenue in the beginning. Remember, your goal here is to expand your personal capacity.
Those are just a few ideas from me. I'm sure you have a lot more ideas on how to expand one's capacity. I'd like to hear from you, so feel free to share them in the comments.

How to Build and Stick to Your Exercise Routine

Most of us need to exercise more. Being active isn't just important when you're trying to lose weight – exercising regularly also means you'll have a decreased risk of heart disease, diabetes, strokes and even some cancers.

Perhaps you've tried getting into exercise in the past, but you always find yourself slipping back into your old habits. You might manage to get to the gym three times a week at first, but soon, you're back to going a couple of times a month at best.

But you're not lazy and you don't lack willpower. All you need is an exercise routine that will actually work.

Here's how:

Your Routine Needs to Suit You
Even if you played a lot of sport in college, you might struggle to exercise today. That's because your lifestyle's changed: you may have kids, a busy job, even a health condition that makes it tough to do certain types of exercise.

Your routine needs to work for you. Don't feel that you have to stick to some "perfect" exercise plan from a magazine; instead, find ways to incorporate exercise into your life with as little disruption to your day as possible. That might mean working out in your lunch break, or walking/cycling to your workplace, instead of trying to get to the gym at 6pm.

Don't Shoot for the Moon
When you're fired up for a new goal, it's tempting to go all-out in pursuit of it. When it comes to exercise, though, you need to start small and gradually build up. If you try to run for an hour every day having never run before, you're (a) going to get discouraged when you only manage five minutes and (b) likely to injure yourself.

Any exercise is better than none. Try starting with just 5 - 10 minutes of cardio activity, and add a little more every week. For moderate-intensity activity (the kind that burns fat and keeps you healthy), a good rule of is that you should be working hard enough that you can't sing the words to a song, but you can hold a conversation.

Have a Minimum Target and Ideal Target
However motivated you are, there'll be days when nothing seems to go right. Perhaps you've got a cold, or you're really busy at work, or you forgot your exercise kit when you hurried out of the house in the morning.

This is when a minimum target comes in handy. Perhaps you'd ideally like to do a total of 40 minutes cardio, plus some weight training: but you'll settle for a minimum of 20 minutes cardio.

You can still check off your exercise for the day, meaning you won't end up thinking "I've failed, so I might as well just give up now."

Track Your Workouts
Keep a record of your exercise. That could mean writing down brief details of what you did during each session, and how you felt afterwards, or it might simply mean putting a check (or a gold star if you want!) on your calendar.

Keeping track helps you stay motivated: if you can see an unbroken string of days when you managed to exercise, you'll be loath to break the pattern. You may also spot patterns emerging: perhaps you find it tough to exercise at the weekends, for instance.

Switch it Around
Don't get stuck in a rut with your exercise. If you always use the same cardio machine at the gym and always lift the same weights, you'll find yourself getting bored. You may also run into problems if your favorite machine isn't available, or if you can't get to the gym at all.

Try out new types of exercise every few weeks. That might mean going for a jog, cycling, swimming, dancing ... anything new. As well as stopping you from getting bored, and helping to make your routine flexible, this also ensures that you keep getting fitter (if you do just one type of exercise, your body will eventually adapt to it, and you won't see such good results).

Are you trying to get into a regular exercise routine? Share your tips – or your struggles – in the comments below.

3 Unconventional Ways to Change Your Life this Year

Everyone wakes up on January 1 with a gut full of ambition and good intentions. The idea of a clean slate is invigorating! By the middle of the month, however, most people have already started the slide back to their regular existence, overcome by trying to reach lofty, unclear goals with the same mindset from the previous year. I struggled with this for many years myself before finally figuring out 3 unconventional ways to avoid the January slump:
●      Porn
●      Lowering my standards
●      Pretending I'm someone else

This sounds like the start of a really bad movie about a down-and-out mob informant in Vegas, doesn't it? Stick with me here and it will all make sense very soon.
Using these exact strategies below, my husband and I were able to sell everything we owned and save enough money to travel the world for five years. In fact, I'm writing this post to you from sunny Thailand, where we've been living for 3 months as we write our second book. Not bad for two people who could barely find the time for a 1-week vacation just a few short years ago, wouldn't you say?
Dream Porn
There is a reason the daydream scenes in movies are always in a slight blur – they aren't real. The main character longs for love, riches and happiness. She goes on daydreaming until her knight in shining armor shows up with a bucket full of money to solve all of her problems and carry her off to happily ever after. In the movie, the character doesn't have to do anything to make this dream come true.
In real life it doesn't work that way, and you need something far more explicit and raw to motivate you to action. Let me suggest a little Dream Porn in 3-D, IMAX quality so you can visualize every single detail. You need the money shot, the close-up, the vocals, and the cheesy soundtrack.
You want to know exactly what it looks, smells, feels, sounds, and tastes like to live your dream so you can make it happen:
●      See: Pictures, paintings, vision boards, maps – whatever image evokes your dream best
●      Smell: Candles, flowers, soaps, incense, food – the scents that put you inside your dream life
●      Hear: Music that transports you to your dream, recorded sounds of applause for your band or birds chirping from your version of paradise
●      Taste: Food from your dream location, meals you would cook in your restaurant, wines that make you think of your own vineyard or travels in wine-producing countries
●      Touch: A sari from India, a mock cover of your dream book propped up on your desk, fabrics you'll use to design clothes or furniture in your dream business
Dream Porn is powerful stuff, and unlike the other kind, you don't have to feel guilty about using it to fan the flames of your desire.
Lower your standards
You've probably seen those motivational posters they hang up in office buildings: soar like a guy on a glider over the Grand Canyon, challenge yourself like a rock climber, believe in yourself like a marathon runner. Man, I hate those posters. You want to stick me in a cubicle for 8 hours a day and ask me to excel by showing me the fabulous adventures of people who don't have to stay inside a cubicle for 8 hours?
The reason these kinds of posters are just feel-good material from Human Resources and not actual stepping-stones to your personal success with goals is because they aim way too high in a non-relatable way. Seriously, how can you relate to the guy scaling Mt. Everest when you're tapping away at an expense report with a space heater at your feet?
The key to long-term success with your goals is actually the opposite of these posters: lower the bar. Not just a little, a lot. In fact, lower the bar from Olympic pole-vaulter height and start with something you can step over without breaking a sweat.
Don't think about quitting smoking altogether; instead, think of getting to lunch every day with only one cigarette. As that becomes easier, you can work toward no cigarettes until lunch, and so on and so on until you are smoke-free. Every day is a mini challenge you can actually envision doing, not some pie-in-the-sky long-term dream that is completely un-relatable to your current reality.
The momentum you build from these small successes keeps you going and is far more effective than mustering all your strength at the beginning and sustaining it long-term. As you and I both know, that doesn't usually work.
Pretend you're someone else
The same person you are today is not the same person you'll be when you reach your goal. That's part of the reason your goal is so challenging to you: you're still the old you trying to fit into a new version of you. There is fear, uncertainty and inexperience clouding your vision.
One way to bypass a lot of the angst and struggle in becoming the more evolved version of you is to pretend you're already someone new. Assume the identity of the person you want to be in the New Year: health nut, college student, business owner, writer, artist, inventor, elected official, activist – whatever your heart desires.
You may not be able to drag your chubby buns off the couch to walk around the block, but a healthy, fit person would do it with no problem. When you begin changing your mental identity from couch potato to fit person, even when you're still straining the seams on your sweat pants and huffing and puffing just to tie your shoes, you are going to be more successful than the person who thinks of exercise as something other people do.
A writer writes every day, an artist paints, and an inventor creates things. You get the idea. When you mentally become the thing you want to be, the actions required to be that thing will come much easier. Over time the two will meld and you will actually become the thing you want to be.
What can you expect this time next year?
Going into the resolution game with the right mindset will give you the best odds for achieving your goals. We're walking proof of that, writing this article from exotic Thailand, 15 months into our worldwide tour.
We dreamed big with a giant world map as our Dream Porn, lowered our standards by getting rid of just a few things every week instead of wondering how we would get rid of 20 years' worth of possessions, and envisioning ourselves as long-term travelers to develop the minimalist, flexible mindset we would need to walk away from everything we knew. It worked for us, and it can work for you.
Just think of what you could be doing this time next year.

3 Things to Do RIGHT NOW Toward Your New Year’s Resolutions

In the thick of the holiday season, it's easy to make promises to yourself about the New Year. In January, I'll eat healthily / stop smoking / cut back on drinking / exercise regularly / start studying for that qualification …
Some experts might tell you to get started on your goals straight away ("there's no time like the present!") – but that's not necessarily realistic advice. If you know that December is going to be hectic, you don't want to set yourself up for failure.
So, instead of making a start on your big goal right now, here are three things you can do to make your New Year's resolution much more likely to succeed.

#1: Decide What You Want to Accomplish

This might seem like a very basic step – but we don't always follow it.
Rather than figuring out your goals on December 31^st, start considering them now. Don't pick too many things, either: one big goal or two – three smaller ones will be much more likely to succeed than a dozen self-improvement projects.
If you're struggling to decide, write down all your possible goals and ask yourself which of these would make the biggest difference to my life?

#2: Ask for Gifts That Will Help

Once you've picked a goal (or a couple), you've almost certainly got a few potential items to put on your Christmas list.
For instance, if your goal is "lose 50lbs", you might want:

• Recipe books with healthy, low-fat meals
• A subscription to a health/fitness magazine
• Sports kit (comfy workout clothes, trainers)
• Sports equipment (exercise machine) – or gym membership
• Some yummy but healthy snacks

These gifts will help you to keep your goal in mind during Christmas. They can also be a good way to let friends and relatives know about your resolution: these people can keep you accountable and encourage you towards your goal.

#3: Pave the Way with Small Steps

You might not want to begin outright just yet, but you can still take some small steps towards your goal. For instance:

• If you want to exercise more, check out local gyms during December (when things are quieter!) rather than in January.
• If you want to get a new qualification or learn a new skill, look into courses and fees. If you want to start on a course in January, you may need to sign up several weeks before.
• If you want to write a book, set aside a space in your home and get any necessary supplies (e.g. index cards for planning, a spare USB pen for backing up your work).

Right now, you can gather information, look into different options and decide how best to move forward. Don't wait until January – otherwise you might end up dithering for weeks, without starting on your goal.
Depending on your resolution, you might need to avoid backsliding before January 1^st. If you want to lose weight next year, for instance, it's clearly not a great idea to gorge during December: finding that you need to lose 60lbs not 50lbs isn't going to make for a good start to January!

All of these steps are simple and don't need to take up much time – but they could make the difference between success and failure next year. Which of them could you do today?
If you've got another tip to add to this list, let us know your thoughts in the comments!

5 Steps to a Very Merry Christmas

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." ~ George Carlin

Is it that time of year again? Is Christmas here already? It only felt like 365 days ago when we had the last one. Either way Christmas is one of my favourite holidays because there's nothing on earth that can beat that festive feeling.  It's not so much a holiday to me anymore, it's a feeling and sense of joy I get every December and I just can't do without it. As each Christmas comes and goes I try to enjoy it with greater vigor and I want to share some top tips on how to have a cracking Christmas.

1. It's about Presence Not Presents

"Your children need your presence more than your presents." ~ Jesse Jackson

I used to panic and run around in circles when it came to finding the right gift for somebody. However don't fall into the trap of putting too much emphasis on 'gifts' as your bound to stress yourself out. Sure it's great to get the perfect gift for a loved one but don't feel too down if you can't afford what they want or worry if they will like the gift you have bought them. As corny as it sounds, as long as you tried your best to get a good gift that's all that matters. Christmas isn't just about the presents, it's about BEING present. Far better than any gift is making yourself available, being yourself and being there for another person, whether this be a spouse, children or a complete stranger. If you can commit the 'whole you' to those around you, then that's the best gift that even money can't buy.

2. Clear Everything up Early

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." ~ Johnny Carson

One of the best rules to ensure that your Christmas period runs smoothly is to plan early. Since there is more or less a complete shutdown over Christmas you want to clear all work assignments, chores and other loose ends well before the 24^th of December. Begin to start clearing up work at the beginning of December and try to anticipate jobs or events that may come up in the near future.
Not only should you get work related tasks completed well before Christmas, but you should also start mailing Christmas cards, buying gifts and preparing your parties early. Everyone knows that mail gets clogged up and deliveries are maxed out the nearer it comes to Christmas. In addition shops are full of last minute panic buyers too – so get everything done early as you don't want everything to accumulate into one big ball of chaos.

3. Relax and Kick Back

If you're a workaholic then you should consider putting everything down and stopping all forms of work on Christmas day.
It was only Scrooge who worked on Christmas day and according to recent developments not even he works on this day anymore. Christmas is about spending time with loved ones and getting in tune with the communal spirit. Just about every business around the world stops on Christmas day and there's no reason why you shouldn't either. Following on from Point 2, make sure you clear up all work before Christmas day – reply e-mails, return phone calls and answer clients, so you can be sure that there is nothing important that needs attending to when you should be relaxing.
Committing to work rather than being around the people who love you isn't what Christmas is all about, by not being present you are denying them the joy of having you in their company. So wherever possible, put your business, chores and your work life aside for this day and just go with the flow.

4. Stuff your face (within reason)

Much like taking your mind off of work, why not put any exercise regimes or nutritional diets out the window for the holidays?
Put aside the salads, organic foods and the protein shakes and join everyone else in the yearly 'stuff your face' event that is Christmas. Not only does your mind deserve a break from your work, but your body also needs a rest. Rest mentally and physically to ensure a total relaxation experience on the day. Plus wouldn't it be weird if everyone else is stuffing their face with Christmas pudding and cream whilst your munching a stick of raw broccoli? Don't be a party pooper and get with the lazy-ass program instead.
Make this day one of those days where you allow yourself to indulge in all your favourite foods without feeling any guilt. Think about Christmas is the one time where you can make all the excuses you want. After all everyone else is.

5. Rent Your 'Classic Christmas' Movie

Do you have a Chritsmas movie that never fails to get you into the Christmas spirit? Perhaps it was one you watched when you were a child and it was always shown during Christmas?
I certainly do, the truth is the ones I watch aren't going to win an Academy Award anytime soon, even if you did manage to replace Macaulay Culkin with Robert De Niro in Home Alone. Nonetheless because I've seen these films so many times during the holiday, they always bring back that festive feeling. I'm sure you do have your own and if you do make sure you get a copy and put it on continuous play throughout the day.
Anyway here's my list of shame:
1) Home Alone
2) Santa Clause the Movie
3) National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

6. Give, Give, Give

If there's one tip you're going to apply then make it this one. Put yourself in a generous mood and give to everyone around you as much as you can. Giving doesn't mean necessarily giving money and gifts, but simply putting a smile on your face and giving your time to those who need it. Open doors for people, laugh with people, smile and greet passers by with joy – if you'll do this you'll have a wonderful Christmas.
Merry Christmas!

3 Ways to Make Your Christmas Special

Want to make Christmas special?
Ah, the holidays, they are a mixture of fun, food and a plenitude of stress.  We feel so much pressure to make everything just right.  It is maddening at times.
We want to make things special because Christmas itself is distinctive.  Christmas is packed with meaning.  All the more reason that we want to make it stand out.  The memories should last a lifetime or at least until New Year's.

3 Quick Tips to Make Your Christmas Special

I know you're busy so I'll get right to the point and make this brief.  There are still presents to wrap, songs to carol and hams to bake.  So, in the midst of all this, how do you make Christmas special?  Well, here are some things to consider:

1.  Start by Letting Some Things Go

You can squeeze the specialness right out of Christmas trying to pack it too full of good things.  We are reminded that Christmas is a time that we are supposed to be spending with family and friends, accentuating the important things in life.  Remember, good can be the enemy of great.  If you try to cram too much good stuff in, then you may very well crush the greatness right out of it.  This is true not only for you, but for everyone else around you as well.  Let some things go and you'll have a much more momentous season.

2.  Be Generous to Someone Outside Your Circle

I know we buy tons of gifts for close friends and family members at Christmas.  In fact, I think we often overdo Christmas gift giving, but I'll save that for another article.  A powerful way that you can make your Christmas special is by giving generously to someone outside your immediate circle.  You might be like Evan in How to Help a Homeless Friend? that knows someone that is down on their luck and needing a little extra generosity this year.  Giving to someone that really needs it will warm your heart and give you that special feeling inside.  This is what Christmas is really all about anyway, isn't it?

3.  Go Deeper Into the True Meaning

The Most Unbelievable Story Ever Told has to do with Christmas.  It has suspense, mystery and twists behind every corner.  It will challenge, inspire and motivate you.  If you spend a little time with it, you cannot help but to be deeply affected by it.  The more you explore this story, the more special your Christmas will become.  It will surely touch you in a way that will make this year more memorable and extraordinary than any other thing that you can possibly do.  Want a truly special Christmas?  Then take some time to go behind the scenes and learn what the day is really all about.

I Wish You the Merriest Christmas Ever

I wish you a very special Christmas this year.  I hope it is full of family, friends, hope, peace and love.  May you experience everything Christmas is supposed to be without all the burden it was never meant to carry.  If this article sparked any ideas that you feel will help to make your Christmas special, then please do the favor of passing it along to others.  Merry Christmas!

Respond To The Spirit Of A Gift.

December is the month of gift-giving, and my birthday falls in December, so I get practically all my gifts during this month.
Often when I read, I'm struck by a particular passage without understanding why it has caught my attention, then over time, its significance becomes clear. I've read Story of a Soul, the spiritual memoir of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, several times. Recently, I suddenly realized why I kept thinking about one particular paragraph.
Its context: one day in 1897, when she in her early twenties, and weakened by the tuberculosis that would soon kill her, Thérèse was sitting in her wheelchair in the garden of her convent. Ordered by her Prioress to complete an account of her childhood memories, she was trying unsuccessfully to write:

When I begin to take up my pen, behold a Sister who passes by, a pitchfork on her shoulder. She believes she will distract me with a little idle chatter: hay, ducks, hens, visits of the doctor, everything is discussed…another hay worker throws flowers on my lap, perhaps believing these will inspire me with poetic thoughts. I am not looking for them at the moment and would prefer to see the flowers remain swaying on their stems…

…

I don't know if I have been able to write ten lines without being disturbed…however, for the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so. For example, here is a hay worker who is just leaving me after having said very compassionately: "Poor little Sister, it must tire you out writing like that all day long." "Don't worry," I answer, "I appear to be writing very much, but really I am writing almost nothing." "Very good!" she says, "but just the same, I am very happy we are doing the haying since this always distracts you a little." In fact, it is such a great distraction for me…that I am not telling any lies when I say that I am writing practically nothing.
St. Thérèse emphasizes the importance of accepting gifts in the spirit in which they're offered, instead of responding to the gift itself. She doesn't want to be distracted with chit-chat; she wants to write. She doesn't want a bouquet in her lap; she wants to see wild flowers growing in the fields. But she "takes care to appear happy and especially to be so."
One memory that makes me squirm is that once, several years ago, my husband brought home a big gardenia plant. I love gardenias.
"Thanks," I said weakly. "It's so…big." Inside, my thoughts were about my own limitations: "Where will I put it to display it properly? Can I take care of it? I'm sure to kill it in just a few days, as I always do, and that will be so upsetting. What a waste."
Gifts often strike strange chords in us. Andy Warhol observed, "You can never predict what little things in the way somebody looks or talks or acts will set off peculiar emotional reactions in other people." The gift set off a reaction of self-doubt, so I didn't respond with the enthusiasm that such a thoughtful gift should have provoked. My husband knew I loved gardenias, so he bought me the biggest one he could find! I should've taken care to appear happy and especially to be so. Now I think of that gift every time I see a gardenia.
(Reacting to the spirit of a well-intentioned gift wasn't the same as reacting to a passive-aggressive gift. My friend's mother thinks she needs to lose weight, so she's given her running clothes, a certificate for ten spinning classes, and an electronic calories tracker—none of which were appreciated.)
"Respond to the spirit of a gift" is a resolution that's so obviously right that I shouldn't have to remind myself of it—but I do.

Holiday Depression? 8 Steps To Be Happy

Holidays are coming! Some are having the times of their life during Winter holidays: parties, friends, celebrations, cheering, sharing, etc.. Some find this time of the year very demanding. Most of us experience something in-between these two extremes: fun in some situation, pressure in others. Joy of sharing time with people we love, uncertainty about how to deal with holidays pressure.

These are 8 steps you can embrace to live joyfully during the holidays. You can live happily by:

-Being present, and accepting
Start with yourself. If you feel joyful in the situation you are now, than enjoy it fully and share it with people around you! No matter what we are conditioned into thinking, joy comes from inside, and grows when shared. Not from the latest gadget on sale, nor from getting a career advancement.
If you feel the current situation is neutral, for example now that you are reading this post and the holidays celebrations are not here yet, then just enjoy the space. Right here and now, everything is fine. When the time for celebrations comes, then you will have plenty of energy and resources to be part of it.
If you find yourself in a situation which is not comfortable, then just breath. Breath in, breath out, Breath slowly, to relax your sympathetic system. You may have your lucky charm, your favourite jokes to tell, etc. However, sometimes you may not be able to use them. Breathing is always with you, so keep it your friend.
Then be aware of people and surroundings. We are all on the same boat, with our ups and downs. With our strengths and question marks. With our funny jokes, and cliches. Accept people as they are, give them space. Most they will respond by accepting you as you are.
Let the "ghosts" of past and future holidays go. Accept the past holidays are gone. Accept the future holidays are far from now. Be in the present moment.
Positive phrasing
For these holidays, and for most of your life, visualize more what you want to be, and less what you want to move away from. If I say you: "do not think about the pink tree!", what do you visualize? A pink tree! Positive visualizations and course of actions, being/doing what you want to be/do, are more powerful than negative ones (moving away from something).
Recharging
Some of us recharge while being in a group. They feel the energy coming from other beings. Some of us recharge in a quiet environment. Their energy grows while in nature, reading a book, etc. Know what recharges you, and refill your batteries for the holidays.

Embracing diversity
Variety, the spicy of life! The holidays may be a once a life-time (or at least, once in a year) opportunity to get to know better people you meet daily in formal settings. Or to touch base with family members. Any inspiration, for your new year, you can take from them?

Sharing the ride, and volunteering
Can you share with a trusted friend your feelings about the holidays times? Spontaneously, by sharing some of the ups and downs. Without emphasizing any specific aspect.
Balance this "holiday budding" with sharing your real gifts (not the material ones!) with society. Can you volunteer for a shelter, canteen, senior's group, etc.? By shifting the attention from you to other precious beings, you reconnect with your real nature.
-Eating properly
Holidays are a great time to get to taste again your auntie's cake, etc. Considering food portions at most of holidays event come in generous sizes, ensure to have at home only healthy ingredients for cooking, like fresh vegetables and fruits. That is your detox time.
If you want to feel calmer, make yourself a relaxing tea before an event, and stay sober during parties. No matter what your priorities are during the holidays, you benefit from feeding your body and mind with appropriate food, in appropriate quantities, when you have most of the saying in your menu': at home. This ensures you have full energy available.
Exercising
Get plenty of walking, and fresh air. Limit your car usage to the minimum.  If you already have a regular schedule (gym, yoga, pilates, etc.) try to keep it, or modify it to ensure you get your physical activity.
After a generous lunch and some talking, excuse yourself and take a short walk near-by. You can bring some friends/relatives with you, or just have a quiet walk.
Having a plan B
When you are in a quiet environment, where you feel safe and in peace, enjoy the blissful experience. And gently touch one area of your body (ex.: wrist). If, for any reason, you find your inner peace feels shaken during the holidays, just centre your attention on your breath as it is. And gently touch again your chosen spot. Your breath and your peaceful spot have always been there, are there now, and always will be. And so is your ability to enjoy life as it unfolds, during holidays and during the rest of the year.

The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge

Are you ready to participate in the mad shopping frenzy that we partake in every year, not only on Black Friday but all holiday season long?
Are you ready for an incredible burst of spending, for racking up credit card debt, for the stress of buying things for everyone on your list?
Are you ready to consume an insane amount of resources, to have a huge impact on the environment, to work long hours to pay for all that?
Yep, it's the holiday season again, and with it comes the worst season for consumerism ever.
I say, let's opt out.
My family and I are issuing a challenge to all my wonderful readers, to the world: The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge.

What is this crazy challenge? It's simple — follow all these rules:

1. Buy no new gifts during the holidays.

Wait, whaaat? Don't fret, there are alternatives:

• Make gifts, like crafts or construction type gifts.
• Bake or cook consumable gifts like cookies.
• Give the gift of your service — wash cars, give a massage, babysit, clean a house, mow lawns, etc.
• Buy used gifts at thrift stores.
• Donate to charity, as a group.
• Volunteer at a charity together.
• Have a shared experience together.
• Create something, together, instead of consuming.
• Give to others things you don't need (a good sewing machine, etc.).
• Find gratitude for what we already have.

Are you in? Take the challenge! It'll be fun, you'll save a ton of money, and your family will get creative. Read on.

The Tradition of Traditions

Many people will scoff, and say they love giving gifts. It's a tradition, after all!
Well, sure. But new traditions can be made if the old ones aren't working out. And I'd argue the tradition of buying gifts is broken.
Do we really want to teach our children that giving is really all about buying? Do we want to teach them that to show love, you must buy something? Do we want to set an example of consumerism instead of creativity? Are we saying that the only way a family or friends can get together is if we spend a crapload of needless money?
No. Let's be more creative. Let's create new traditions.
What kind of traditions? What if families got together and played games? Built things? Went outdoors to hike, play games, swim, play in the snow, camp out? What if families taught each other how to make things?
What if families got together to help others? Volunteer at a soup kitchen, help others build houses, clean up a neighborhood? Show that giving can be amazing, but it doesn't have to involve consumerism.
Get creative. Get healthy. Get constructive. Get compassionate.

But teh sales! All the money I'll save!

I think you know this already, but it's worth reminding ourselves that when you shop during a sale, you aren't saving money. You are spending it.
The best way to save money is by not buying at all.
Sure, there are some necessities that we need, but holiday sales are not about necessities. They're about convincing you that all these TVs, iPads, Kindle Fires, iPods, video game systems, clothes, power tools and more are necessities. You can't escape buying all this stuff, because it's Christmas dammit! So come down and save some money, and sign up for store credit while you're at it.
When retailers offer you a major sale, this is a good time to run in the other direction. They're trying to trick you into buying something you don't need. When you see an advertisement for something, anything, it's a good time to shut off whatever you're watching, or go to another website. You don't need it.

But … my family won't!

First, your whole family doesn't have to do this. Just you. You'll be an oddball, and some people won't understand, but you'll be leading by example. Send them a link to this post, and tell them Leo made you do it. Just because everyone else is doing massive consumerism, doesn't mean you have to.
Second, don't be fatalist. Your family might be willing to change, if you at least start the discussion. Again, send a link to this post. Ask them what they think. Challenge them to get creative.
This could save your family thousands of dollars, and be incredibly gratifying in the process. Instead of spending hours of shopping apart from each other, you could be spending hours together, doing things. Celebrate the holidays simply.
Talk about the benefits of changing, and the problems with the way things have been done.
These holidays weren't always about massive shopping. What did people do before department stores and malls and online retailers? How did they ever survive? Let's try to remember.

Dealing with Difficult People

Some friends or family members absolutely won't join you. That's OK. You don't need to force this on anyone.
Remember that everyone will change at their own pace, and not everyone will embrace changes like this. They'll feel threatened, or criticized. You need to try not to come off as critical of others, but more positive.
Tell them that they are not required to join you, but that you want to do this for your own sanity. You are trying to save money, but mostly you want to move away from consumerism. Ask only that they respect this.
Others might insist on getting you presents. Politely ask that they don't, but if they do, don't be ungrateful. It can be awkward — for years I've asked family not to buy me presents, only to have some of them buy me stuff anyway. I don't buy them anything, so it's weird. But these days I just smile, and say thank you, and appreciate the effort. It's a long education process, trust me.
In the meantime, you can still suggest starting other traditions, like playing games or going outside or volunteering.
Be patient. Others don't like to be forced into change, so just be the change you want to see in the world.

25 Ways to Make This the Best Christmas Season Ever

The holidays can be stressful.
Your to-do list has suddenly quadrupled. You may be spending more money than you intended. Perhaps you are entertaining house guests, hosting a party, or traveling. For most of us, life is simply busier and more expensive during the holiday season.
And for some, the holidays are a reminder of lost or absent loved ones, feelings of loneliness, or financial difficulties and stress.
We may have dreams of a Norman Rockwell Christmas, but the reality is probably closer to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation — at least at some point during the holidays.
There's a lot of pressure to make the Christmas season perfect and to cram it with events, shopping, and parties. But I find that some of the simplest pleasures can make the season bright and fill me with the joy and wonder of Christmas.
I invite you to share in the simple pleasures of the season with these 25 ideas:
1. Begin with gratitude. Before you begin handing out the gifts and tearing in to them, take a moment to reflect on all of your blessings since last Christmas. Write them down. Look at all of the good you have in your life and be grateful.
2. Set a budget. If you know exactly how much you are going to spend this Christmas, then shopping becomes much easier. Don't feel pressured by the media, the advertisements, or other people to spend more than you intend.
3. Release expectations. Allow this Christmas season to be what it is without expectations or hopes for perfection. We are often disappointed when things don't go "as planned" during the holidays, so plan loosely and remain open to change. Embrace the reality of life as being part of the season.
4. Keep it simple. Part of releasing expectations is simplifying your Christmas season. If you over-schedule yourself with activities, shopping, and travel, you will be stressed and will miss out on the peace and beauty of the season.
5. Spend time in nature. Wherever you live, in a cold or warm climate, spend time outside absorbing the natural beauty of this time of year. The smells, the sounds, the climate of December are all part of the joyful anticipation of Christmas.
6. Listen to beautiful music. Everyone has their favorite holiday music, and it creates background mood for the holidays. Consider music that is peaceful and soothing to bring calm during this hectic time of year. I love the music of Stanton Lanier during the holidays or any of the Wyndom Hill music.
7. Create and sustain traditions. Traditions during the holidays make us feel connected to one another and to something larger than ourselves. They offer a sense of certainty and comfort. We have a tradition of letting the children open one gift on Christmas Eve, and it's always pajamas to wear that night.
8. Entertain without perfection. Sometimes we avoid inviting friends over during the holidays unless everything is perfect — the right meal, the house completely decorated and cleaned, a gift purchased. Let that go and enjoy spontaneous get-togethers to share a meal or simply some time together. Don't miss connections waiting for perfection.
9. Light candles. The glow of candlelight creates magic and warmth. Light them at dinner, during a bath, on the mantle. I've put an assortment of candles in the fireplace when it's too warm to light a fire.
10. Buy gifts mindfully. Don't purchase a gift just for the sake of having something to give. Buy something that is truly a gift for the recipient, something that lifts them up and makes them happy.
11. Bring nature inside. As you decorate for the season, bring some of the beauty from the outside into your home. Cut branches and holly berries to put on your mantle or in an arrangement. Decorate pine cones to put on your tree. Spray leaves with gold paint to use on your table or as place cards.
12. Go caroling. Print off some Christmas carols from the Internet. Brew up some hot chocolate or mulled cider. Get some candles or lanterns. Call a few friends to join you, and walk around your neighborhood and sing. It's really fun — and more fun if you spike the cider!
13. Wrap creatively. Instead of buying more wrapping paper, get creative. Collect all of the paper you have from last year and use it first. Use recyclable brown paper bags and tie them with bright ribbon or raffia string. Use burlap or fabric pieces to wrap up round or small gifts.
14. A baking party. Set aside a morning with family or a couple of friends, and enjoy the pleasures of baking together. Bake a batch of Christmas cookies, pumpkin bread bread, or your own favorite holiday treat.
15. Feed the birds. Get a bird feeder as a family gift before Christmas and set it up near a window. It is such a simple and beautiful pleasure to watch the variety of birds looking for a good meal!
16. A family project to serve. Plan something together as a family to help or offer hope to others during the holidays. Adopt a family, serve in a soup kitchen or food bank, visit shut-ins. This reminds us of our many blessings and provides a sense of meaning and context for the season.
17. Create simple, healthy meals. From Thanksgiving until the New Year, we are faced with an array of delicious, but often fattening and unhealthy food choices. Whenever possible, create simple and healthy meals to keep your eating choices balanced.
18. Support the arts. In this economy, the arts are suffering with lower attendance. Many performing companies, ballet companies, and other arts organizations are closing their doors. The holidays are a great time to support the arts while feeding your soul. Attend The Nutcracker, go to a holiday symphony performance, or watch a local theater production. These are great family occasions.
19. Send a letter or gift to a soldier. Imagine being in Iraq or Afghanistan this Christmas, away from loved ones and the comforts of home. Remember those fighting for our freedom and send a note of thanks or a needed gift.
20. Rediscover meaning and purpose. As things begin to slow down in the days before Christmas and the week after, take some time to reexamine your own life to determine what is truly meaningful and important to you. Define and uncover your passion and purpose to begin the New Year with a fresh perspective.
21. Write a love letter. One of the most meaningful gifts you can give is a hand-written letter expressing your love and gratitude to your spouse/beloved, your parents, your children, or a treasured friend. Take time and thoughtful care in expressing your feelings, writing on beautiful paper, and wrapping your gift. It will never be forgotten.
22. Reach out to someone lonely. If you know someone alone or lonely this holiday season, connect with them. Invite them over for a meal or include them in a family occasion. The holidays can be very sad for many people, and you can bring a ray of light into their lives.
23. Take a drive or a walk. Get in the car and take a drive just to look at the holiday lights and decorations. Or simple walk around your neighborhood. Carry a mug of hot chocolate and a box of homemade cookies with you and make it an occasion.
24. No last minute shopping. If you find yourself without a gift for someone at the last minute, don't rush out and buy something so you won't be empty-handed. Instead, create your own "gift card" for someone offering something special they would enjoy — a dinner out, a coupon for chores, a back rub, a movie together.
25. Make Christmas Day last. Instead of ripping into gifts and rushing through the morning, open gifts one-at-a-time. Enjoy each person's pleasure of giving and receiving. Light candles, put on music, and intersperse gift opening with breakfast, laughter, and connection.
What will make this the best Christmas season ever for you? Please share your ideas and experiences in the comments.

Does Waiting In Line Drive You Crazy? 8 Reasons Why.

It's holiday time, and that means waiting in line: at the grocery store, at the airport, at shops, everywhere. I'm an impatient person, and standing in a slow-moving line is one of those very small, maddening aspects of life that drives me crazy. As often happens, however, when I learned more about the experience, it became more interesting to me.
Fun fact from the Wall Street Journal story on Find the best checkout line: you're better off waiting in a single-file line than in one of several lines for different cashiers; although people prefer individual lines, a single-file line moves about three times faster.
I also read a paper by David Maister, The Psychology of Waiting Lines. The piece is aimed at people who operate stores, restaurants, doctors' offices, and other places where people fuss about being kept waiting. Of course, most of us are the ones standing in line, not the ones controlling the line, but I was fascinated by getting this insight into my own psychology.
Maister's main point is that the actual time we're waiting may have little relationship to how long that wait feels. Two minutes can pass in a flash, or two minutes can feel interminable. Here are eight factors that make waits seem longer:
1. Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time. When you have something to distract yourself, time passes more quickly. Some hotels put mirrors by the elevators, because people like to look at themselves.
2. People want to get started. This is why restaurants give you a menu while you wait, and why doctors put you in the examination room twenty-five minutes before your examination actually begins.
3. Anxiety makes waits seem longer. If you think you've chosen the slowest line, or you're worried about getting a seat on the plane, the wait will seem longer.
4. Uncertain waits are longer than known, finite waits. People wait more calmly when they're told, "The doctor will see you in thirty minutes" than when they're told, "The doctor will see you soon." Maister gives an amusing illustration of a phenomenon that I'd noticed in my own life: if I arrive someplace thirty minutes early, I wait with perfect patience, but three minutes after my appointment time passes, I start to feel annoyed. "Just how long am I going to have to wait?" I fume.
5. Unexplained waits are longer than explained waits. We wait more patiently for the pizza guy when there's a thunderstorm than when the sky is clear. We wait more patiently on the plane when we know that there's another plane at the gate. I remember being very annoyed as I waited for a doctor, until a nurse explained, "A woman who's pregnant with triplets is having trouble breathing." When I understood the reason for the delay, I lost my impatience.
6. Unfair waits are longer than equitable waits. People want their waits to be fair. I get anxious, for instance, when I'm waiting on a crowded subway platform, when there's no clear, fair way to determine who gets on the next car. The "FIFO" rule (first in, first out) is a great rule, when it works. But sometimes certain people need attention more urgently, or certain people are more valuable customers. Then it gets trickier. Often, when people are treated out of sequence, it's helpful to have them be served elsewhere—e.g., people giving customer service by phone shouldn't be in the same room as people giving service in person.
7. The more valuable the service, the longer the customer will wait. You'll wait longer to talk to your professor than to talk to a sales clerk. You'll stand in line longer to buy an iPad than to buy a toothbrush.
8. Solo waits feel longer than group waits. The more people engage with each other, the less they notice the wait time. In fact, in some situations, waiting in line is part of the experience. I remember waiting in line with my daughter and some friends to buy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at the midnight release. It was quite a scene.
Since I've read this paper, I've been far more patient about standing in line. I'm occupied (see #1) with thoughts analyzing my own experience of waiting in line! Have you found any good ways to make waiting in line more pleasant? One thing I do is to practice "waiting in line meditation." Just saying that phrase makes me feel very high-minded and wise. Do you think that the rise of the smart phone has helped people wait in line more patiently?
* The site Color Me Katie got me thinking about the importance of color. Like the sense of smell, color is an element of experience that pervades our environment, and has a huge influence on our mood, but is easy to overlook. Color! This may be the dawn of a new obsession for me.

3 Reasons Daughters Need Their Fathers

Why does a daughter need a good dad?

Fathers have a tremendous influence in their daughter's lives.  The research shows that daughters need their fathers and this influence determines a great deal of how the future will go.
There is something special about the father/daughter relationship.  I am the daddy of two very awesome little girls so I have firsthand experience and a keen appreciation for this subject.
I want my daughters to have the best start in life possible.  The responsibility I feel is weighty especially after I read the information below about how crucial a father's role really is.

The Reasons Daughters Need Their Fathers

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker, M.D.  Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician.  She has seen what a father's influence means in the lives of girls from the counseling she's done in her practice.  If you are a daddy of girls, then you need to read this book.  It should be mandatory for all fathers with daughters. I'm going to borrow some of Dr. Meeker's stuff today to help you see why fathers are so important to the future success and happiness of their daughters.
Here are three reasons daughters need their fathers:

1.  Your Daughter Needs Your Protection

Protection comes in many forms.  Of course, when girls are young, they need us to protect them physically.  However, as they grow up and venture out on their own, we can't always be right there with them.  But, we can still protect them by instilling in them confidence, wisdom and a sense that they are loved deeply by the most important man in their lives.  You see, whether you want to admit it or not, our culture can sometimes be a very toxic and dangerous place for young women.  Here are just a few of the disturbing statistics that Dr. Meeker cites in her book:

• Over 40% of girls 14 to 17 years old engage in unwanted sex because they fear their boyfriends will get angry if they don't.  That's 4 out of 10!
  
• Almost 12% of females will experience forced intercourse.
  
• Over 35% of high school girls will have sad, hopeless feelings for longer than two weeks.
  
• Over 11% of females attempt suicide.

Don't let your daughter become a statistic!  A strong father can dramatically improve his daughter's chances of avoiding these pitfalls and many others.  Daughters who feel a close connection with their dad have fewer suicide attempts, fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance abuse and unhealthy weight.  Your daughter needs you to protect her from these threats.

2.  Your Daughter Needs to Know She Is Loved

A father's love is central to a daughter's sense of well-being.  A strong and loving father helps young girls avoid many of the mistakes that lead to the bigger problems in life.  According to Dr. Meeker:

• A daughter's self-esteem is best predicted by her father's physical affection.
  
• Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention.
  
• Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.
  
• 76% of teen girls said that their father influenced their decisions on whether they should become sexually active.

A father who sets boundaries and curfews and makes a point of meeting the boys his daughter dates, makes her feel more loved and valued.  As a result, this young woman will place more value on herself.  A girl who places more value on herself is less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as casual sex, binge-drinking and taking drugs.  So, even though she might not appear to like it on the outside, deep down inside, your daughter wants you to set boundaries and provide guidance.  This makes her feel that you care about her.

3.  Your Daughter Needs You to Be Involved

It is not enough for a father to just be present.  He must be actively involved. This requires spending time alone with your daughter on a regular basis.  Time that you initiate and devote to her alone.  You have to talk to her.  "One of the great myths that our society perpetuates is that teenagers need their space," says Dr. Meeker.
"Even in affluent families, girls become sexually active and pregnant earlier if they don't live with fathers, according to the largest and longest-term study on the problem," cited an article in USA Today.
You need to affirm your daughter verbally and often.  Tell her that you love her and that she is pretty, but don't stop there.  Praise her for other desirable qualities like intelligence, courage, loyalty, integrity, a sense of humor and generosity.  You want her to know that she's valued for much more than just her physical appearance.
Get involved in things that she likes.  This may be a little uncomfortable for some dads, but you've got to put all that aside and do what's best for your daughter.  She needs to know that she's important to you and that you're willing to engage with her on her terms. An involved dad that is affectionate and spends quality one-on-one time with his daughter is investing in her future.  This investment will pay off in big ways.

Be the Father Your Daughter Needs

I challenge the fathers out there to rise up be the kind of daddy that your daughter needs.  Her future depends on you.  There is nothing more important that you can be doing.  There is time for all the other stuff later, but your daughter needs you now.  Go be the father she needs.

Healthy Benefits of Facial Massage

Massaging the face is a simple and essential part of beauty facial treatments to keep wrinkles at bay.  In addition softening the skin is an excellent effect of facial massage is that it stimulates and increase blood circulation and eliminates dead skin.  Facial massage is also famous to tighten certain skin tissues that have a tendency to go soft and give the face a worn out look. The human face is full of nerves and pleasure points that create this particular type of a pampering an easy favorite.  Whether you are looking for a quick afternoon pick-me-up or a relaxing getaway, luxury massage is easily justified by some of its practical use.

A few healthy benefits of facial massage:
-It can aid improve the overall look of skin.
-Stimulates blood circulation, which nourishes the skin and rids it of skin impurities.
-Cleanses away dead surface human cells.
-Decrease puffiness and tones, firms, purify pores and helps skin retain humidity.
-Helps to relieve muscle tension and stress and aid relaxation.
-A relaxing facial benefits can be psychologically.
-It can help to decrease puffy, sagging areas and strong rejuvenates the skin.

As you see, healthy benefits of facial massage are wonderful, and it's worth giving it a try. You can search a beauty salon or day spas to get facial massage and treatment.

A Secret To More Happiness And Energy? Give Yourself A Bedtime.

As a result of my happiness project, I've become a sleep zealot. It's just so obvious to me—from reading the research and from personal experience—that getting enough sleep is a key to a happier life.
I've noticed something, however. I noticed this in myself, before I became such a sleep nut, and I see it in the people around me: most adults don't give themselves a bedtime.
Children have a fixed bedtime; we know they need their allotment of sleep, and we pack them off to bed when it's time. But many adults just go to bed whenever they feel like it.
The problem with this approach is that it's far too easy to stay up too late. The TV, the internet, your email, your book...these distractions keep you alert past the point at which you should head to bed. Many of us know we ought to go to sleep sooner, but we just can't manage to pull it off.
One suggestion: Give yourself a bedtime. Even if you don't actually go to bed on time, at the very least, you should know that you're "staying up past your bedtime." Just the realization that it's an hour past your "bedtime" might help you nudge yourself into bed. Most adults should get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, so do the math.
I get up at 6:00 am, which means my bedtime is 10:30 pm. When I first gave myself a bedtime, I was in the habit of going to bed around 11:30 or midnight. I thought that was an appropriate grown-up bedtime. Well, it's not if you're a grown-up who gets up at 6:00!
For me, at least, getting more sleep was a habit that was self-reinforcing. I felt so, so much better when I started getting enough sleep that it was very easy to observe that bedtime, even though I do regret the loss of those leisure hours.
How do you know if you're not getting enough sleep? Some warning signs:

• you're jolted out of sleep by your alarm clock every morning
• you fall asleep any time you find yourself in a quiet, still place (in a movie theater, or rocking your child)
• you sleep-binge on the weekends
• you feel exhausted all the time
• on the day when Daylights Savings Time gives you an extra hour of sleep, you feel amazing

Try it. Don't even attempt to go to bed earlier. Just identify your bedtime. We tend to manage what we measure, and by identifying a specific bedtime, you might find yourself developing the habit of turning off the light earlier.
Do you have a regular bedtime, or not? If so, how much sleep do you get, and when do you turn off the light?

Why Developing ‘Awareness’ is Critical To Your Success

The Stepping Stone to all Good Things

There one quality that's appealed to me whenever I see it in another person. No it's not money, looks, or fame, as shallow as some of you think I really am. It's actually 'awareness.'
By 'awareness' I'm not saying that people who have this trait are like Meer kats and can spot a predator a mile away (even though that may be a desirable trait), but by awareness I mean somebody who is aware about everything about themselves and others.
People who possess awareness are aware of who they are, where their life stands and their own emotions. They are aware of how they come across in front of other people, what another person is feeling and they are aware of the consequences of the decisions they make. People who are aware are aware of the important things in life.
Without cultivating awareness in your life you will find it hard to achieve any of your dreams in life. It's the first stepping-stone to success, greatness, better relationships and most importantly an awesome life.

Why Do You Need Awareness?

If you are on this site and you are still reading these words then I think you and I are similar in that we both have a degree of awareness. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. You're here because you are aware that either your life isn't as you want it now or you are seeking improvement in it. You are aware of where you are now and where you want to go. And that's good.
There are a lot of people in modern society who are going about their everyday lives with a lack of awareness regarding their own lives. They aren't aware that they are wasting much of their lives watching endless reality TV, eating too much junk food and not paying attention to focusing on how they could spend their time better.
The one quality that all people have who are either in personal development or on the path to making a better life, is that they are aware that their life isn't how they want it or that they want it to be something better. You are aware of where you are and you're on this site to learn how you can live a better life. You are aware of what your current situation is and you are seeking answers. Awareness is the first quality you need.
The people who are living their lives without paying attention to the quest of how to live a fulfilling life aren't aware that they are wasting time. Without awareness you cannot start to make your way to your dreams because you don't even know where you are to start off with. Similarly, if you have problems in your life you cannot begin to fix them unless you are first aware that there is a problem.
As I said, being aware is where it all begins.

Awareness & Relationships

Awareness doesn't only initiate growth within, but it also it one of the key components to cultivating great relationships time and time again. One thing that never fails to create strong relationships is putting yourself in the shoes of another person. As you meet more and more people you can develop the skill of automatically getting in tune with another person very quickly. When I first meet somebody the one thing I try to do is to get in tune with the other person and understand them. I try to be aware of what kind of person they are, how they think and what appeals to them. When you become more aware of how you are coming across in front of other people, you can save yourself ever crossing the line with one of them because you know what makes them tick.

Awareness Keeps You On Your Path

Being constantly in a state of awareness will ensure that you notice at all times whether you are deviating from your true path. People who are not aware on a regular basis can go so far off track that when they do become aware, they have gotten so far off track that there's a mountain to climb to get things back to how they want it. This is similar to when people realise that they have wasted their entire lives but it's too late to do anything about it. On the other hand somebody who is aware of their life, relationships and health will tend to be in alignment with their goals for each area because they pay so much attention to them regularly.
In addition when you are aware you always can prevent things happening before they've even happened. Take for example in a relationship, if someone is aware they constantly are assessing the situation and are quick to register if something is wrong. Having at least one person who is sensitive to the change in climate can save a relationship or always make sure their family and their relationships are sailing in the right direction.

Can you Cultivate Awareness?

I believe you can cultivate awareness, it may take time to actually fine tune the degree of your awareness but by attempting to be aware is a great first step to increasing it. When you're in a situation where you should be aware and then you notice it, then you are being aware. If you can free up your own mind with things that are of no importance to you and focus your attention on your life, you've already begun increasing your awareness.

Is Awareness All I Need for an Awesome Life?

As with most things in life, you simply cannot have one trait then expect everything else in life to conveniently fall into place. Possessing awareness in isolation is not enough. For example what would the point be of having awareness but never acting upon or changing anything you are aware of? In some instances there are some people who are very aware but they negate this wonderful trait by counteracting their awareness by lacking honesty or indulging in constant rationalization. Some people are aware that they have a problem or that their life isn't what they want it to be but they can't be honest with themselves that a problem exists. They put it to one side and deny the truth; a lot of the time they do this via rationalization.

Action Steps

If you want to become more aware then you may want to try these simple techniques out.
Get a piece of paper and a pen, and write down your most important areas of your life. Next write down the important questions that you need to ask yourself in each area; 'What are you feeling now?' What is your situation? Are you on the right course in your life? Then everyday at the same time look at your questions and ask yourself these questions. As time goes by you'll begin to be asking your most important questions that mean the most to you on a regular basis without having to be prompted.
Remember awareness is first step to making a great life for yourself.

5 Pitfalls to Avoid to Achieve Your Life Goals

I don't mean to be a downer here. If you're interested in optimizing your life and living it to the fullest, you probably have a lot of big goals and dreams. It's important to focus on what you want and to use that as motivation to move you forward.
However, it's also important to be realistic about the common pitfalls that people tend to get stuck in as they work toward their life goals.
Here are 5 common things I've seen in others (and myself!):
1. Pursue Material Success Above All Else
It is easy to get mesmerized by the thought that your life would be perfect if only you had more money, a bigger house, or a new pair of shoes.
Don't get caught in the trap of chasing the best and brightest new thing. I've been there myself, and all those new toys lose their luster after a few short days or weeks.
Though those things may make you feel good for a while, it is important to realize that those good feelings of confidence, joy, and happiness come from within you, not from the object
2. Wait for "Someday"
You're busy. I'm busy. Everyone is busy these days. Somehow it seems like a struggle just to find the time to go grocery shopping or get the oil changed in your car.
It is easy to put things off on the "someday" list, especially if taking action frightens you or you're unclear about what the next step should be.
However, it is important to realize that unless you actively make the choice to change your situation and take control of your life, your dreams, or the direction you're headed, you will just keep drifting on the same course you're already on.
Living the life you want doesn't happen by accident and it doesn't happen because your to-do list is finally complete and you can, at long last, find the time to concentrate on what matters. The only way to get the life you want is to take action and make time for it.
Make your goals a top priority and you won't run the risk of endlessly putting them off until they reach the graveyard of "someday."
3. Settle for Less Than What You Want
I know it can be difficult to go after what you want. You pour all of your effort into getting that dream job, asking that special person out on a date, or getting started on that new diet only to be met with disappointments.
After a little bit of failure, it is only reasonable to think that you've just set your goals too high and that you should settle for something a bit more "reasonable."
However, settling for less isn't going to give you what you really want. It will also develop a belief in your mind that you can't get what you really want or that you don't deserve it. This kind of thinking will limit your motivation or the amount of action you're willing to take to go after other things you want in life.
4. Avoid Fear and Uncomfortable Situations
I get it. It's tough to walk into your boss' office and demand a raise or go up to that hot girl at the bar and introduce yourself. It's frightening. You don't know what will happen, and there's a reasonable chance that you may not get the desired outcome.
However, it is only through reaching outside of our comfort zone that we can begin to expand what is possible in our life.
It's the things we have to work for and take a risk to get that we treasure the most in life.
Yes, you might experience the sting of rejection, but the courage needed for taking a chance will start to build, like any muscle that is exercised, and you'll begin to become more bold and courageous in other things in life too.
5. Choose to Believe Discouraging Thoughts
We all have negative thoughts. There is no denying that. However, we do have the choice to believe those thoughts or not.
And it sure is easy to believe them. After all, we thought them up or someone "important" told them to us, so they must be true, right?
Keep in mind though, that just because you have a limiting or discouraging thought about your own abilities or value does NOT mean that you have to accept that belief.
You can choose what beliefs you are willing to accept and which ones you are not. Even if you're unable to control anything else in your life, you can always control your thoughts.
***
The important thing is to not feel bad if you see yourself in any of these 5 pitfalls. Often, we may not be aware of what we're doing so you shouldn't feel bad when you discover something counter-productive. Instead celebrate its discovery and correct course as needed.
The journey to achieving your life goals may not always be a straight line, but finding your path amidst it all is one of the biggest joys in life.

7 Ways to Freshen Up and Liven Up Your Life

Do you need a little spark to liven up your life?
Excitement fills us when our lives feel fresh and hopeful.  Ideas flow.  Energy swells.  And happiness abounds.
Our lives can sometimes become a little too routine, predictable and monotonous.
There comes a time when you need to freshen and liven things up a bit.  You need to throw a log on the fire of your life and get something burning.  I want to offer you a few ideas to help create the spark that you need to get yourself unstuck.

7 Lively Ideas to Freshen Up Your Life

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
~ W.M. Lewis

You've got to get your blood flowing.  It is time to seek inspiration and reenergize.  What makes you come alive?  Go do that!  Don't wait to begin to live.
It has always amazed me at how slim the line is between a disappointing day and one that is enlivening and invigorating.  You don't have to sell everything you own, leave your spouse and run off to Borneo to have a great life.  Whew, isn't that good news?  It is much simpler than that.  You just have to decide to step across that line and find some inspiration to create that spark that will make you feel fresh again.
Here are seven ways you can freshen up and liven up your life:

1.  Go On a Local Adventure

You have adventure that can reinvigorate you right in your own backyard.  I'm certain that one or more of these is available to you today.  All you have to do is engage.  These are simple activities.  But, because they are different, out of your ordinary routine, they will stimulate your senses and leave you feeling energized.  You can then ride this wave of renewed vigor all the way to happiness.  Don't dismiss this.  Take action today and you will be amazed at the difference it can make.

2.  Try Something You Have Always Wanted to Do

What's something you've always wanted to do, but have never taken the time to try?  Well, make today the day that you do something about it.  A few years ago, I took scuba diving lessons.  I live in Oklahoma which is hundreds of miles from any ocean and I don't get to dive very often.  However, the sense of accomplishment and motivation I felt from mastering a new skill that I always wanted to learn was well worth the price of the lessons.  Plus, the memories I have from diving in Cozumel are priceless.  I highly recommend getting out there and trying something new.  What will it be for you?

3.  Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Travel is a fantastic way to freshen up your life.  The new sights, sounds and experiences are sure to awaken your senses and liven up your life.  You get to experience new food, new art and often a whole different way of life.  If visiting a foreign country doesn't stimulate you, then you may need to see a doctor to confirm you still have a pulse!  Make yourself a list and then head out to a dream location.  Getting off the couch and out of your comfort zone is a perfect way to liven things up.

4.  Make a New Friend

New relationships create all kinds of new opportunities.  A new friend will open your eyes to all kinds of things you hadn't seen or elected to experience before.  You'll be exposed to a new point of view, stimulating conversation and invitations that will motivate you to break out of your rut.  Start introducing yourself to new people.  As adults, we've built this up in our minds to be way too scary a thing to do.  We need to be more like kids on a playground.  Keep it simple.  Smile.  Tell them your name.  You'll be amazed at what transpires from there.

5.  Be a Wild and Crazy Guy (or Gal)

If you feel the need to liven up your life, then chances are you've become to uptight and stuffy.  It is time to let your hair down.  Get crazy!  Do something completely out of character.  Perhaps you should go dancing or go skydiving or sing your favorite song at a karaoke bar.  We stifle ourselves because we don't want to look stupid, but in reality, stupidity is letting your life become dull and boring.  Get out there and live.  The experience will make you laugh and it will give you a memory you can reflect on favorably for weeks.  Come on!  I know there is a wild and crazy guy or gal inside you.  Go show the world!

6.  Buy a New Toy

I put this one lower on the list because it is so common in our society to think that if I just had this or that, I would be happy.  This thinking leads people to spend money on things they can't afford and usually the stuff just winds up as clutter in their garage or storage closets.  However, despite these possible pitfalls, I still think it is worth mentioning.  Sometimes, a new toy is a path to other happiness-building activities.  For example, you might buy a new camera, join a photography club, meet new friends and then go on a trip to a foreign country to take pictures.  Does any of this sound familiar?  If you will follow through with a bigger plan like this, then buying a new toy might be just the ticket for you .

7.  If All Else Fails…

Okay, now if all else fails and you aren't willing to do anything else on my list here, then let me give you one last failsafe option.  I'm going to make this one as easy as possible because I want to be sure you do something to liven up your life.  If you've read this far, you obviously need a plan and you must like reading.  Soooo, the last thing I'll suggest is for you to find an inspirational book to read.  I'd much rather you get up and go actively participate in something, but if you can't bring yourself to do that yet, then at least find a great book and maybe it will inspire you to do more.

Go Live a Happy and Exciting Life

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~ Mark Twain

I hope these little ideas will lead to big things for you.  It often takes just a spark to get something going in your life.  You can use these ideas as your spark.  I pray they will ignite a huge flame in your life.  I pray that you will explore, dream and discover like never before.  I wish you the best life ever!

How to Write a Manifesto – Why Everyone Should Have One

A manifesto, by definition is a public declaration of a person's principles and intentions. Throughout history a lot of manifestos have been political in nature. Marx and Engel's Communist Manifesto sticks in many people's mind as an example of a manifesto. Other famous ones have been on the subjects of art or technology. However, it doesn't have to be on a certain topic. A manifesto lays out what is important to someone and publically draws a line in the sand as to what they believe in and what they will do and not do.
Manifestos have gotten bad press lately. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber had his own manifesto. Manifesto can be for good or evil. The Declaration of Independence is essentially a manifesto. Architect Frank Lloyd Wright had one. So does present day marketer Seth Godin. Organizations have manifestos; Apple has one.

Personal Manifestos

It is a great thing for people to have their own manifestos. Much of the modern world is lived in shades of gray. There isn't a right or a wrong in modern society. Family norms have been established by reality TV. Ethical standards are eroded by the activities of political leaders. People can have standards for themselves. These standards create the foundation stones of our lives. A manifesto establishes this foundation and declares it to everyone, "This is who I am and what I stand for."

You Don't Have to Get It Perfect, Just Get Started

You might feel a little daunted at the task of writing a manifesto. You needn't worry. All you need is something you feel strongly about. It doesn't really matter what the topic is. It can be whatever you want to make a statement on – politics, your work, the environment, or a social issue or cause. It could even be about sports. The important thing is to be bold. Manifestos throw your intentions into the arena for others either to agree to or not. You don't want to just make a list of things you like or don't like. Make a declaration as to why this is something you would go to battle for.
The mechanics of writing a manifesto are simple. First, decide what you want your manifesto to be about. Your first manifesto doesn't have to be War and Peace. Keep it short and sweet by focusing on one topic. Is it healthy living? Is it football officiating? Is it what kind of job you will take or not take? Make a list of a couple topics. Let them sit for a couple days while you let it brew around in your mind and then settle on one.
Next step for writing your first manifesto is to lay it out on paper. Pull up your favorite word processing software and get it going. Remember you don't have to get it perfect. You just need to get it started. For your manifesto, I suggest a format of introduction, background, discussion, declaration. The before mentioned Declaration of Independence has the same format.
Your manifesto's introduction should establish what your target is and why you are taking aim at it. You might talk in generalities why this is important to you and why it needs to be addressed. Don't spend too much time on the introduction, the real meat comes next.
The background of your manifesto is the hook for your reader. People want to know why this is important to you. Personal stories are what draw the reader. They want to know what motivates you, thereby bringing them into the rationale. Also this is for yourself to explore why this gets your blood boiling and why you feel the attraction to it. The background isn't just for the future readers. Even if you don't intend to ever show this to another living soul, be honest in the background of your manifesto. If there was some element of abuse, emotionally or physically, try to write about it. This is a good place to talk about perceived slights, snubs. Every time you reread it, the background will bring you back to why this is a passion for you.

Manifestos Are Gritty

The discussion is where you make your case. Manifestos are gritty. This is not the place to dance around and try not to antagonize anyone. Simply say why you believe what you believe. Some will agree and some won't. You will upset some people if your manifesto is bold. Don't use a pro and con approach. Take that attitude that what you believe is the only approach and work from there. Go ahead and attack counter opinions and say why they don't make sense. Most of all, state why this is important to you and it is important enough to make it a manifesto.
Finally, make a declaration in your manifesto. What will you do as a result of the manifesto? What will you not do as a result of it? Are you going to stop watching television? Are you going to seek out another line of work? Make a declaration that reflects what you stand for.

You Finished It, Now What?

Once you have your first manifesto finished, take a deep breath of satisfaction. You have placed yourself above the mob. You are one of the few who actually know what they stand for in life. You are not letting the winds of public opinion blow you around like a rudderless sailboat on the waves. Men are meant to be the captains of their own ships.
Take this further if you dare. Share your manifesto with family and friends. Encourage your friends to write one of their own. Write a couple more on other single topics. After a while when you have a few manifestos under your belt, write your life manifesto. Establish your values and how you will live according to them. This is the stuff legacies are made from. You deserve this.